You're free to lie down in fire,
We'll even provide the pyre.
Or if you'd prefer something more corporeal,
Don't worry, we'll prepare a stunning memorial.
But if you were religious in life,
The preacher-man is an extra price.
Just sign on the dotted line, x marks the spot,
The headstones await you on the burial plot.
If you'd like to line your casket,
We have plenty of items in our baskets.
Have some pine-scented air fresheners,
They might help with post-mortem depression
Resulting from the miasma of your corpse,
Which will worsen the more it warps.
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